Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I Wish I Had A Woman as Nice as My Dog

   I was getting out of my car this morning, and my little Yorkie  stuck out her paw and scrapped it on my hand wanting me to pet her. She's so nice.  She does this a lot--though it's a bit annoying when I'm driving--because all she wants is some love and a little attention.  I pet her on the head and she's happy, and will lay down and sleep on a longer trip.
     A dog will give a man unconditional love; whereas, a woman may or may not keep you around depending upon the prevailing winds.  I don't have to buy my dog a food dish lined with jewels.
My dog doesn't get crabby and vicious for no reason because she loves me unconditionally.  My dog doesn't run up a charge account at Macy's, and she doesn't spend $50.00 to do her nails.  My dog doesn't take drugs, drink alcohol, or crash my brand new car.  My dog doesn't stand there and "bitch me out" for not being sensitive to her needs.  All my dog needs is a little love, attention, and her food.  Overall, the quality of life with my dog has far exceeded any relationship I have had with any woman.  If you want to know where you stand with a woman, just run out of money.   If you have a woman that stays with you when you're broke or in a setback, then you have a good one.   The value of any relationship depends upon unconditional love, and that's more evident with my dog.
     My guess is that animals are not subject to evil as people are.  Even wild animals seem to be more behaved than mankind.  Animals don't strap explosives on themselves and then go blow up other animals.  You don't see eagles or vultures flying over the elephants dropping bombs on them.  When was the last time you saw a socialist animal?  Animals don't shave their faces, armpits, or legs, put on makeup, they don't get pierced or get tattoos, take drugs, engage in homosexual activities,  nor do they cross-dress.  You will never see a male lion shave his mane nor his beard in order to look like a female lion.  You don't see them working on their "six pack" (I have a one pack).  You'll never see animals joining the freemasons or other satanic cults.  Animals have more freedom than people.
     So when some of you call a woman a "bitch" think about what you are saying.  The word "bitch" means a female dog.  So if you are going to use the word with its true meaning, you would actually be insulting female dogs, because the dogs have better behavior than many women.  You can blame a lot that on the feminist movement, but also, because men and women refuse to stay within their natural order of life, which are God's commandments.  I would never insult my dog by calling Gloria Allred a "bitch".  I'm trying to maintain a higher standard; I would call her a feminist but not a bitch.  The feminist movement has made many of our women unseemly wenches.  Raise the moral standards, and the problems will subside.  It's not like there's no solution.
     I love my bitch and I don't want to say anything to offend her.  My bitch is sweet, my bitch is lovable, my bitch is kind, my bitch is considerate, and she hardly causes me any trouble.  She doesn't mess with my mind; doesn't say yes today and no tomorrow.  She doesn't tell me she loves me today, but tomorrow she wants a divorce. My dog doesn't pole dance at drunken parties. My dog doesn't pick up "stud muffins" at bars. My dog doesn't make porno films.  My dog doesn't take me to court (you lawyers..don't get any ideas) and she doesn't make any unreasonable demands.  It is a perfect relationship as I don't have to entertain any of her relatives.  My dog is my friend and not my adversary.
    If I was ever to consider getting married again, the woman would have to (at the very least)  rise to the level of the behavior of my beautiful little dog.  Dogs and animals stay within the natural order in which God created; many people do not.

Walter Allen Thompson has a new book called Natural Law: The True Supreme Law of the Land


  1. “I think I could turn and live with the animals, they are so placid and self contained;
    I stand and look at them long and long.
    They do not sweat and whine about their condition;
    They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins;
    They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God;
    Not one is dissatisfied-not one is demented with the mania of owning things;
    Not one kneels to another, nor his kind that lived thousands of years ago;
    Not one is responsible or industrious over the whole earth

  2. I was telling my husband about your article so I sent it to him.

    Like what you said in Mr. Henry's column. It is so sad most (we women) act in his manner. I have seen it and it disgust me! One almost yelled at her husband for picking the wrong color swatch. Another was yelling at her husband on the phone in a grocery store for not seeing some bird on the flour. (he asked for my help and I was so glad to help him cause I could hear her!) It was tortilla flour not flour... poor guy!

    I guess my husband is right. I am different as to why he married me. He states that if I acted like them he would NEVER trust me!

  3. Yeah, dogs ARE better than women...

  4. Dogs are also better than many guys.

    Guys also don't give unconditional love so I'm unsure why it seems they expect it from gals. Once a gal starts gaining weight, getting wrinkles, or "denying" sex his so-called love is gone. It seems a guy may or may not keep a gal around depending upon the prevailing winds of her beauty and how often he busts a nut in/on her.

    Dogs don't pay to watch gals pole dance at strip clubs. Dogs don't watch porno films. Dogs don't consider their partners needs as unreasonable demands or nagging. Dogs desire some submissive subservient and hold resentment, bitterness, and hate for a movement that gave gal rights and freedoms that were denied to them.

  5. A dog will give a woman unconditional love; whereas, a man may or may not keep you around depending upon the availability of younger and “hotter” flesh. I don’t have to cook my dog three-course meals … My dog doesn’t go whining to other dogs that I feed him canned food instead of making everything from scratch. My dog doesn’t spend upwards of $100K on “toys” he supposedly “needs”, such as cars, yachts, “sports equipment”, golf memberships, tickets to sporting events, and man caves (which I’m expected to clean, by the way). My dog will happily play with my kids, instead of demanding that I keep them out of his way because he needs to “decompress”. In fact, my dog never ever needs to “decompress,” ever; he’s always ecstatically happy to receive attention. My dog is trained not to make a mess in the house; my dog isn’t whining to other dogs about being required not to make a mess in the house; my dog knows that if he does make a mess, he’ll have to go outside; my dog requires less clean-up from me. My dog doesn’t take drugs, drink alcohol or crash “his” brand new car which we both paid for, and which now means that I will be carless for an indefinite period of time. My dog doesn’t bitch about my parents. My dog doesn’t bitch about my friends. My dog doesn’t interrogate me if I come home at 1 am; he’s just as happy to see me at that hour as if I had come in at 7 pm. My dog doesn’t go on and on about his high blood pressure and how I don’t take care of him well enough; at the same time, my dog won’t moan and complain that I am “controlling” just because I took him to the vet for his own health. Etc., etc., etc.
    He doesn’t mess with my mind; doesn’t say. He doesn’t tell me he loves me while fucking the babysitter behind my back, then tell me tomorrow that he’s leaving because he wants to “live a little”. My dog doesn’t play grab-ass at drunken parties. My dog doesn’t pick up “hotties” at bars. My dog doesn’t watch porno films. My dog doesn’t clean out the bank account and he doesn’t make any unreasonable demands. It is a perfect relationship, as I don’t have to entertain any of his stupid friends.

    1. So much hatred and aprox 20 lines of answer. Guess the point of the article hit her hard right in the head. Lady, you are not marriage material. You'll end up alone, not with a dog, but with a cat. Saw it before, you'll not be the first.
      Feel sorry for you and for the poor bastard that might be your mate.
      I could explain every and each one of your "problems" but i'll underline one. You have no self respect. That's why your relations have been such a ...let's say are not marriage material!

      Cristian ..34..from Spain

    2. AnonymousJune 24, 2017

      So, you're saying you don't like your dog's friends.